some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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