I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
