went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
