I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
