Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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