...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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