Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
