Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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