you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
