Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
