I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
