Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
