just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
