I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
