Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
