marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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