I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
