you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
