i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
