Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
