Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
