We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
