I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
