Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize