Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
