He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
