Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
