My nipple is on Facebook.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
