I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
