my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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