Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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