Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
