Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
