her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
