Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
