Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
