i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Me too!
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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