ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
