Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
