It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
you will always have a special place in my vag
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
