some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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