I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
