You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
