I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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