The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I will be naked everywhere
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
