if only i could text you this smell
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
