the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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