Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
