So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
