i just wanna soil my oats bro
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
